How to Achieve Your Dream Life
And so it begins.
January’s ending. I started this year off with goals and a hope that this year will be better than the last couple of years. Wanting to be a content creator, I started posting on Tiktok and created a new Instagram. Something I’ve been neglecting is my reputation, or as creators would call it, my brand.
My parents taught me that the only thing that matters is work. And work I did, striving to achieve in my career and finances. Money was, arguably, more important than relationships. than people. This maxim my parents imposed on me, shaping the way I thought about myself and the world around me.
For the last decade or so, I’ve been putting a lot of energy into making money and advancing the career ladder. I didn’t think socializing was important, I did the bare minimum to get by at work and at church. I was a self-labelled introvert with a knack for making things happen. They called me closer, at work. (And also, crybaby and freshman.) One of my managers described me as someone who was very accomplishment-oriented, driven to achieve and be productive, and that was the reason they hired me. I’m extremely goal-oriented but also insecure and shy to a certain extent. Lacking confidence in myself, but knowing how to project an image if the situation necessitated it, I was able to succeed at work.
My friendships, however, faltered. My social life was nonexistent. On social media, my presence dwindled. I flaked too much, didn’t show up to social events, wasn’t a constant, stable presence, and my lack of follow through in relationships brought me a terrible reputation. Until one day, I sat at my desk and asked myself: Why am I not happy with my life. And how can I be happy?
Define yourself.
This comes back to the rebrand, except on more a personal note. It’s not what people think of you that matters. It’s about acknowledging who you really are, being honest to the world on who you are, showing your true self to the world around you, and caring more about authenticity and staying true to yourself than people’s opinions of you. People will always opine about you. People will always gossip. You can’t avoid people reacting to you, and you can’t really control their judgment about you. But what you can control is the decanting of truth from yourself to the people around you. Because truth matters. Not verisimilitude, but the truth. Who God made you to be, as you are fearfully and wonderfully made. And the more visible your honest self is to the world, the more easily it will be to live your dream life.
Live a balanced life.
When you get older, life gets more and more complicated. Your brain has stored more than 10x the amount of information that it had when you were in your teens. It’s hard to be an adult, not only because of increasing responsibility but because of increasing stimulation. Due to the sheer amount of work and tasks and chores and matters to take care of, you’re essentially working with loads and loads of metaphorical paperwork to dispense with your limited memory and brain capacity. How do you delegate and how you separate responsibilities? For me, what helped was writing things down. Whether in my journal, a notebook, my IPad, the computer, it really helped to organize the thoughts in my mind and shred unnecessary thoughts and throw them out. My mind became clearer, my objectives were more clearly defined, and I could see better from a bird’s eye view, what I had to do to improve the various areas of my life. Whether it is fitness, work, finances, relationships, health, education, and etc, you will do well to generate at least 1-2 habits that will be useful in up leveling the sector of life. And be consistent with these habits, and you will see that your life will improve, and you will become increasingly happier and less stressed. The key is to show up and not have an excess of action in one singular area of your life. Spread out the action and decisions and write things down to incorporate balance and live a healthy lifestyle. Excess is not optimal. In moderation, the overall quality of your life will improve.
Protect your peace.
Everyone has things going on in their life. And as you grow older, the more you appreciate stability and security. Unstable, toxic people make your life more stressful and increase pressure on your nervous system. In pathology, metaplasia is when an increase in stress on the body leads to a change in cell type. Too much stimulation, too much change, and too much stress will overstimulate you and cause you to be happy. Whether you are an extrovert or an introvert, you still need to take time to recharge and process. Reset your body and mind daily through hobbies, self care, and quiet time. We all have centers, that we must protect from the harsh world, and recentering is an act of self-love. Care more about yourself, love yourself more, than the world. Because the world can’t protect you, but you can.
To be happy, start a practice of being proactive about protecting your life. Aristotle famously said, “Happiness is a habit.” Get in the habit of prioritizing you and your life. You will thank yourself for it, in the end.
