If the Matrix was About Crypto, Part I:
Plot Summary:
Joma, galvanized by Eric, his boss, looks into making Blindr’s blinds sentient by incorporating Ai and ML into an app that he initially was going to use blockchain on. He meets Morpheus Joma (on the Zoom call) and learns programming kungfu (ML, AI, etc). He makes the company’s blinds sentient. The blinds get hacked by Shadr and blinds start hacking humans’ computers and sharing their personal data to the Dark Web, Shadr gains a monopoly. Chaos ensues. Will Joma be able to save mankind from sentient blinds by using blockchain to protect user privacy?
Scene 1:
Location: Joma’s bedroom:
Joma lying on his bed with a Japanese anime girl body pillow sandwiched between him and his bed.
Phone alarm ringing nonstop
Joma turns over, knocks his body pillow onto the floor, and presses Stop on his iphone. He glances at the time: 9:58 am.
Voiceover: Crap. 2 minutes until my meeting with Eric. (goes to bathroom, pees standing up)
And I haven’t even checked crypto prices yet. I knew last night was a bad idea…
(washes hands, looks in mirror, sees Hitler mustache drawn in pen on his upper lip)
Voiceover: Why do I have a mustache? (grimaces as he smacks his lips) And why does my mouth taste like protein powder? I don’t even work out… (tries to shave mustache off) Oh wait (cut scene)
Scene 2:
Location: Joma’s desk
Joma’s video call with Eric Wang, CEO and founder of Blindr
Joma: So I’ve been looking into how to rewrite our backend using blockchain technology, and I think that we can greatly improve our current business model by incorporating blockchain into our shared data layers. I just finished diagramming the system infrastructure and expect to have a working MVP done by the end of this sprint.
Eric: Great, show me your diagram.
Joma: Yeah sure, (grabs paper, show his penis projectile diagram): Oh wait, sorry, not this one (shuffles through papers) Oh, here it is (show diagram of some complicated blockchain diagram, I don’t know blockchain)
Eric: This looks very promising… question, is there a way we can incorporate AI and machine learning in our application?
Joma: Sorry? (stammers) I thought, you wanted blockchain, during our last meeting you said –
Eric: yeah, I know what I said, I want to keep the blockchain to decentralize our technology and increase trust and yeah yeah, but I want to have machine learning as well, every unicorn start up worth billions of dollars in valuation does something with AI. I want our blinds to have brains and be able to learn and make decisions so we can better protect our customers’ privacy and create a safer world for everyone. That is our mission, did you forget that Joma?
Joma: Oh ok, no I didn’t forget. So you want me to create a neural network and train and fit it with user data?
Eric: Yeah, whatever, just make it happen by the end of the sprint. Or no bonus for you.
Joma: Oh ok, I’ll (Eric signs off) SHIT. SHIT. I don’t know any ML, the only thing I learned in college with my CS degree is how to reverse a linked list with Java… what do I do??
Morpheus Joma pops up into computer screen.
Morpheus: At last.
Joma: Huh? Who are you? Did you just bomb my zoom call?
Morpheus: The real question is, who are you?
Joma: I’m Joma, I’m a software engineer at Blindr,
Morpheus: No, you are Neo. The One who will save us all…
Joma: Isn’t Neo the guy who –
Morpheus: Fight me.
Joma: What?
Morpheus (sends piece of code to Joma via zoom): Copy paste this in your terminal.
Joma: Uh, ok. (copy pastes code, bunch of code starts moving across his terminal screen)
Joma: OH shit, I know kung fu- I mean machine learning! (starts coding up a neural network on his screen as Morpheus watches)
To Be Continued
